10 Types of Grief: The Transformative Power of Grief Counselling

Grief counselling, or bereavement counselling, is commonly associated with the death of a loved one. However, people experience grief for other kinds of loss, such as the loss of a job, marriage, or quality of life. A safe, warm, and comforting therapeutic space is paramount in grief counselling to support the bereaved through their uniquely painful experience.

At a Glance:

• What is Grief?
• Types of Grief
• How Do I Know If I Could Benefit From Grief Counselling?
• What To Expect From Grief Counselling

What is Grief?

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines grief as “the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person. Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future.”

If you have experienced grief, you are familiar with the uniqueness of the depth and nature of this pain and sadness.

Types of Grief

1. Normal grief
   
   A natural response to the loss of someone or something significant. It is typically characterized by common features of grief, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It ebbs and flows naturally, perhaps leading to a coming to terms with the loss, although grief is never fully extinguished.
2. Anticipatory grief
   
   As the name implies, it is a type of grief that onsets in anticipation of a major loss. This type of grief is commonly experienced with those that are losing their loved ones to a terminal illness or neurodegenerative disease, such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. It is a particularly painful grief experience, as it may be difficult to fully process the loss when your loved one is still physically present.
3. Complicated grief
   
   Complicated grief is a prolonged and intense form of grief that hinders your ability to function. It can come from an inability to come to terms with the loss, or stem from unresolved relationship issues and trauma from when they were alive. For example, someone might experience complicated grief with the loss of a parent with whom they had an estranged or complicated relationship accompanied by feelings of love, resentment, anger, and betrayal.
4. Disenfranchised grief
   
   Disenfranchised grief can be a particularly isolating grieving experience, as it refers to the experience of losing someone or something that is not openly acknowledged or socially validated. For example, it could be associated with the loss of a pet, or someone that society views as less significant, such as a celebratory role model or ex-partner.
5. Collective grief
   
   Collective grief refers to the sorrow experienced by a community following tragedy such as natural disasters or terrorist attacks. Social media provides a window into collective grief as people post, share, and comment their experiences related to something in common.
6. Ambiguous grief
   
   Ambiguous grief is experienced when there is uncertainty and a lack of closure. For example, if a loved one goes missing, or similar to anticipatory grief, if you are unsure when you will fully lose a loved one to their neurodegenerative disease. It can also be used to describe experiences of loss including losing a loved one to substance use disorder, estrangement, divorce, or mental illness.
7. Absent grief
   
   Absent grief refers to the lack of emotions you’d expect to feel after a loss. It could be associated with numbness, disconnection, or relief after loss. People who experience absent grief may feel more isolated due to shame and confusion of not feeling what others around them are feeling. Absent grief does not mean a lack of love; rather, it can be a reflection of someone’s way of coping with intense pain, or related to their relationship with the deceased.
8. Secondary grief
   
   Secondary grief refers to the ripple effect that grief has on your life. While moving through the throws of grief, you might also experience loss in other areas, including financial stability, career, identity, routine, and stability. Being patient and compassionate with yourself through the process and leaning on supports can help you slowly regain a sense of stability.
9. Cumulative grief
   
   Cumulative grief, otherwise known as ‘compounded grief,’ is when you have experienced a series of losses over a relatively brief period of time. You can imagine the weight of overwhelm and emotion one might experience who is going through this type of grief.
10. Traumatic grief
    
    Traumatic grief is experienced following sudden, unexpected, or violent losses. The shattering-effect that this type of grief has can have overlapping symptoms with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is most likely beneficial to speak to a trained trauma and grief counselling therapist to support you through processing.

How Do I Know If I Could Benefit From Grief Counselling?

You might benefit from grief counselling if you are:

• Curious about talking with a mental health professional about your experience of grief
• Don’t have any or many social supports to lean on
• Experiencing disruptions to your quality of life, such as sleep, appetite, stress, cognitions, panic attacks, and persistent emotional dysregulation
• Inability to feel relaxed or calm
• Feeling isolated and alone in your experience
• Having thoughts of self-harm or suicide
• Feeling sad and down, and could use a space to process your thoughts and feelings

What To Expect From Grief Counselling

While each therapist has their unique style of working, grief counselling is likely to be less structured and solution-oriented and more flexible; allowing the pace of therapy to be set by where you are at and what’s needed most.

In grief counselling you can expect:

• To be met with warmth, compassion, understanding, patience, and openness.
• Psycho-educational components to help normalize your experience and bring a sense of understanding.
• Talking about your loss in ways that feel meaningful to you.
• Permission to talk about positives and things outside of your loss.
• Optional relevant reading or writing.
• Exploration of spirituality or connection if relevant.
• Learning nurturing, self-compassionate ways of moving through intensely painful emotions.
• Support navigating your new reality.

With the right support, grief counselling can have a transformational impact on the processing and coping with grief and loss.

Connect with one of our grief counsellors here.

References

1. American Psychological Association (APA, n.d.). Grief. American Psychological Association: Psychology Topics.
2. Canadian Mental Health Association Toronto (CMHA, n.d.). Grieving. Canadian Mental Health Association Toronto.
3. Distress Centre (2024, February 28). 10 types of grief explained. Distress Centre.
4. Sarazin, Stephanie (2023, May 26). What is ambiguous grief and how to begin healing. Psychology Today.